I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just googled if crying burns calories
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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