This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
