we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
