i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
