Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
