'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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