I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
