Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
