There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
