1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
