I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
