I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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