Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i drank out of a bidet.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
