K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
