your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
