What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
