dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
