Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Everything about him screamed your future.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
