You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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