She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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