Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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