i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
