saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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