you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
