I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
