I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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