Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
