bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
