I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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