you would pick up someone in the library
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
