Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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