Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
