mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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