I feel great
I just peed on a car
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I will pee on everything he values.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
