Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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