just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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