we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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