Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
