How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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