I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
They took my balls.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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