i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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