Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
