D3 body, D1 cock
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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