I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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