I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
