member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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