Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
