god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
