Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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