no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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