im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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