I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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