4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
