You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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