I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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